Wow, this is heavy

OK, so I've played the Heavy Rain demo, and honest to god, for the first time ever, I'm still completely unsure as to whether or not the final product is worth playing. Normally when I play demos, I get a distinct sense of whether or not I'd want to play the full game. I played the Folklore demo, not knowing a thing about the game, and knew instantly I wanted the full game, and on the flipside, I played FEAR 2's demo and decided I couldn't be arsed with it.

But Heavy Rain? Well, the demo barely gets going. It feels like the opening cut scene and nothing else. What's more, my initial suspicion that the whole game is little more than an interactive movie akin to those old CD-ROM releases in the early 90s still stands. It felt like Quick Time Events without a game. Sure, there was walking around (which, it turns out, weren't as awkward to control as I feared), but it was on pre-determined paths, and therefore still didn't make it feel like a "game". Sure, it's original, but originality without a game seems a bit pointless.

But then again, the thing did seem to have a compelling plot, and I suppose I would be willing to play through the whole thing to see said plot unfold. I'm a film lover as much as a gamer, so I'd go through for that. But that's the whole problem. It appeals to the film lover in me, not the gamer. And for a "game" (I'm still using that term really loosely), that's actually not a good thing.

Sure, games have gotten more cinematic this generation (you only need to look at Uncharted, for example, to see this), but perhaps this is a step too far? I just get the feeling the producers would have been better off just making a film and be done with it.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not expecting every game to be action-packed and full of shooting and explosions. I'm happy with slow-paced games. I used to love point and click games back in the day, but this doesn't even feel like that. I'd have been happy for a variation on the point and click genre, which I feel would suit this, but like I said, it's just QT Events strung together over a CG movie from what I can see.

Needless to say, I'm going to rent it. It seems like it'd be worth playing through the whole thing, but I wouldn't want to own it. And I never rent games these days, that's how divided this "game" has made me. To be honest, it seems like the kind of thing I'd look at once and then shelve. Why spend £40 for that?

Sure, it's a nice idea, and I applaud Sony for trying something so daring, but...is it worth it? I honestly can't say. Again, I'll give a better opinion one day when I eventually get round to renting it.

Rain, rain, go away, come back on another day

So, recently the gaming world has been going absolutely crazy over Heavy Rain, Sony's newest exclusive. Now, I don't know, maybe this is my usual hype aversion kicking in, but really, what's so impressive about it?

No, no, hear me out. My information has been based on previews I've read online that have described, very basically, a movie-like game that I should already know loads about. There's something about a serial killer, and a weird control system? Maybe? That's all I know. But everything I've heard so far says to me "really, this level of hype for a glorified interactive movie?"

But maybe the previews have just done a bad job of describing things to me. Maybe the weird control system I've heard about is actually surprisingly intuitive. Maybe it's not just a glorified string of quick time events and is, in fact, an enjoyable game. Maybe it isn't the tech demo it currently sounds like to me.

Only way to solve this dilemma. Since I'm not one to badmouth a game until I've played it, I'm downloading the demo. And when I've played it, I shall report back and let you know what I think.

If it doesn't take 2 hours to download like it's claiming, that is. Seriously, 2 hours? That's not right, surely?

It's-a me, Ezio!

Hey, long time no see

So I've recently found Chip & Ironicus' LP website, and watched much of their MGS2 playthrough up to where they've currently stopped. And I have probably never laughed so much watching an LP. They have now set a new benchmark for how I should do my own LPs, although I know I'll probably never reach their level.

However, it has already had an effect on how I play games. While they're pissing about making guards dance and strutting a pump, I've been playing Assassin's Creed II, which I've become horribly addicted to. In a game which is essentially MGS meets GTA infused with the DNA of the Da Vinci Code, you can forgive me for letting their attitude to playing seep through to my own style of play.

I suddenly find great enjoyment in talking to the guards as I sneak past them. I can't help but laugh at such ludicrous situations as carrying a dead guard across a huge crowd of people just to throw him in a haystack, AND NO ONE BATS AN EYELID. I suddenly have gained a grand new insight in just how fun sneaking around like Batman crossed with a ninja really can be.

Of course, it helps that AC2 is a massive improvement over its predecessor. I've been enjoying every minute of it. The world feels more alive than the Medieval Middle East. The story is so much more interesting, since it looks at Ezio's life and his motivations for becoming an assassin, rather than just "here's a list of people to kill, go kill them". Also, those "truth" sections are highly gripping in a very strange way. I don't know why, but I love them. Maybe it appeals to the puzzle lover in me, and my perverse interest in conspiracy theories (which I never believe in, I just find them fascinating to read about). And the gameplay has very few of the flaws the first game did. OK, sometimes the jumpy bits are still a little awkward (due to the semi-automatic directional system), but it's bareable.

Also, DANNY WALLACE! I've been a fan of Mr Wallace since I read his utterly brilliant book Yes Man a few years back, as well as the book he co-wrote with Dave Gorman in which they travelled the world looking for men with the same name as the latter. The man is hilarious, and weird in a wonderful way, so to have him offering advice and information on your targets is a massive plus for me. Yes, that alone is enough to elevate the sequel over the original. Weird? Maybe. But I don't care.

Apparently I get to go flying soon. This should be fun. (Also: not a spoiler, it's shown on the back of the game box and mentioned in the trophies, so there :p)

I've also been playing Resident Evil Code Veronica X, as well as Super Mario 64, two games I've yet to complete after all these years. I have very little to say on either right now, though, other than Resi always confuses me and Mario feels a little dated now, but is still good.

And that is all for now. Go away.

Seems like being a Sega employee isn't that easy

So. Sega's "Project Needlemouse" is revealed to be Sonic The Hedgehog 4. This is exactly what I expected it to be. A new, HD, Mega Drive styled game that's a direct sequel to the original games. I even expected it to be 2.5D and I expected it to be a download in the vein of Mega Man 9. The trailer only shows about 2-3 seconds of actual gameplay, but looking at that, I'm quite excited. I reckon it'll be a good fun game.

Of course, the Sonic fanbase, being the inherently broken collective entity that it is, is bitching and moaning and throwing their toys out of the pram. Why? "BECAUSE IT'S NOT WHAT WE WANTED WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

Except it is. They pestered Sega for years to make a new Mega Drive style game for the consoles. That is exactly what they've provided. So why so upset?

Because, quite simply, it's the modern Sonic design, the sleek, slim, tall version of the 2000s as opposed to the short, fat version of the 1990s. And because it hasn't got the graphics of the original Mega Drive games.

















Oh boy.

Now, maybe I'm not a "true" Sonic fan perhaps. Perhaps I'm missing the point in thinking games progress and graphics change over time. Perhaps I'm the only one who's spotted that Nintendo have done exactly the same thing as Sega with New Super Mario Bros but no one's whinging about that. So maybe my confused reaction to this whole "IT'S NOT THE PROPER SONIC! D:" business is because I'm missing some integral point.

I'm expecting some kind of "you weren't there in the beginning, man!" type response. You know, like those Vietnam war vets who proclaim no one will ever understand the horror they went through during that conflict. Only less important and more nerdy and pathetic. Sure, it's true I never owned a Mega Drive when I was a kid. While I'm lucky enough to own two current gen consoles, when I was a kid this was not the case. I had a SNES, and a Mega Drive was right out. I did play the old Sonic games though. I used to play games round friends' houses, round extended family's houses, that kind of thing. I did play Sonic, and I now own the original Sonic titles on the Virtual Console and on the Ultimate Mega Drive Collection, and I maintain that they are still to this day awsome games.

But I don't want a game like that to be released now. I don't want fat Sonic. I don't want 16 bit Sonic. I want the series to be allowed to progress gracefully, like other franchises are allowed to. Sure, there's been some hiccups along the way - Sonic Heroes was practically unplayable for me, and Black Knight was dire, and I did survive '06 simply by realising it was actually a good game that just happened to have been rushed out before it was finished - but ultimately I feel the series has to progress and change to stay interesting.

I actually welcomed the Werehog, I like Sonic in 3D as much as in 2D (bar the exceptions of Heroes and Black Knight, again, yes I liked '06 - SUE ME!), and I certainly am not getting my knickers in a twist over a character model. At the end of the day, if the game is fun to play (which, if it sticks closely to the original formula, it will be), then I will be happy. And so should all the other Sonic "fans" out there.

But this is nothing new. The Drummond/Griffith debates still rage to this day, for example. And this is only Sonic this happens with. The Tomb Raider community isn't up in arms over Keeley "Ashes To Ashes" Hawes playing Lara Croft over Judith Gibbons/Jonnell Elliot, and the Ratchet And Clank community isn't raging about James Arnold Taylor replacing Mikey Kelley as Ratchet. Sure, there's preferences over who people prefer, but flame wars don't erupt because of it. Btw, let's fuel some flames. I prefer Jason Griffith. No, really. I do. I don't really care, but if I had to pick, I'd pick him. Bring on the angry mob! I'm ready for ya! :D

All I get from the Sonic community is that there is a vocal portion of the fanbase that are just massive spoilt children. Everyone bawled about the Werehog, and yet I'd bet real money (you know, as opposed to Monopoly money) that if those sections were Knuckles instead, there'd be exactly zero complaints. Everyone bawled about '06 as if it was the worst game in the world (when in fact, the official worst game in the world is Big Rigs: Over The Road Racing. FACT) when in fact it was little more than a beta version of what could have been a better game. No one sat and looked for the good game underneath the glitches. It existed. You just weren't looking.

And now there's bawling over this. The problem is, THIS IS WHAT PEOPLE WANTED! D:

Don't get me wrong, the game could still be utterly shite, but basing your opinion of it's quality on 3 seconds of gameplay in a teaser trailer and the fact the character model doesn't look exactly like you want it? That's being spoilt children and you know it. Give it the benefit of the doubt. Accept it for what it is. And then if, when it comes out, it is crap, then you can start flinging faeces at it. And only then.

And if you're that bothered by the way the game looks to the point of rage, just don't buy it. Simple as that. Those of us sensible enough to realise there are better things to spend angry energy on will enjoy it for what it is, most likely a fun 2.5D platformer.

In other news, in my world of finishing games months and years later than everyone else, in the past few days I have finished Assassin's Creed and Half-Life 2 at long last. Those of you who follow my Backloggery (link in sidebar) will already know this. So, after my thoughts on AC1 last entry, what are my official final thoughts on it?

It's a good game, if a little frustrating at times and very repetitive. The final moments were epic and enjoyable and pushed me right onto the sequel without hesitation, but overall, there were too many fiddly moments for me to class it as a truly great game.

Like I said though, I have started the sequel now, and I must say that every single complaint I had about the first seems to have been rectified. Time will tell if it stays this way, but right now, everything's fixed. The swordfights have been made more enjoyable simply by adding a strafe button. The story is more compelling (both Ezio's and Desmond's). The gameplay is much less repetitive. Guards are easier to elude, particularly as you can now blend into a crowd. In other words, it's fantastic.

But what of Half-Life 2? Well, not being much of an FPS player, it takes a lot to get me to play them. My reaction to the hype of Modern Warfare 2 at the end of last year was met with a simple "why should I care?". So why do I even have HL2 in my collection? One word. Portal.

Ah, Portal. A game I'd read loads about and thought "this game looks awesome, I must play it!". It then turned out that, due to my lack of a decent gaming PC, in order to purchase the game for consoles was to get The Orange Box, and by extension get HL2 and Team Fortress 2 as well. I largely ignored those, until my Advent Calendar special I did on Youtube at Xmas forced me to play 10 minutes of Episode One. I thought the plot seemed intriguing, and so decided to go and play through the main game. And I actually quite enjoyed it.

I mean, it's not going to convert me into thinking FPSes are THE BEST GENRE EVA! but it was certainly a step above the majority I've encountered. It had an interesting story line, some unusual challenges here and there and the final areas were just epic. But of course, due to my lack of experience of playing FPSes, I'm a bit shit at it. But hey, what can you do?

There's not much else I can say though. It was fun, and for someone who avoids FPSes, that's an achievement to get me to say that. But I'd hardly rank it in my favourites, and I'd probably never play it again, but hey. It kept me entertained for a while and that's all that matters.

Team Fortress 2, however, will remain untouched. It just doesn't appeal.

So yeah, that's another day in my world of gaming. And yes, I missed a day, but who really cares? :p

Infidels!

So, it's 2010, and fairly recently a lot of people have been raving about Assassin's Creed II, so I feel it's a perfect time to discuss Assassin's Creed 1. Why? Because I'm slow on the uptake and have only played that one recently and I wish to finish it before starting the supposedly awesome sequel. That's why.

My initial impressions on the game were very good. It looked impressive, and the whole virtual reality/genetic memory simulator was unique, if a little strange and somewhat unexpected. And the game mechanics looked solid, although initially I thought they were complicated, going on about socially acceptable and not socially acceptable things. It made me feel like they were asking me to eat with specific types of cutlery and to do it wrongly would be a shame on my whole family. What's the difference between a salad fork and a regular fork? I don't know! I don't know why I'd ever need to know!

Of course, I digress. The game, fortunately, doesn't go to this level of complexity with "socially accepted behaviour". It sticks to the relatively simple "walking around in faux-prayer and gently pushing aside beggars" equals "socially acceptable", while climbing buildings, knocking over random people carrying pots on their heads and stabbing soldiers in the throat is generally frowned upon.

The game did seem initially quite fun, but now I'm on Memory Block 5 I can't help but get an endless sense of deja vu. Have I done this stuff before? Why, yes, yes I have. Every "chapter" of the game amounts to the following formula:

- Travel from Super Secret Assassin's Hideout In The Mountains on horseback to one of the three major cities in the area (which, of course, break all rules of geography being right next to each other despite being at different ends of Israel in reality, with Damascus actually being in Syria, but we'll let that slide)
- Visit Super Secret Assassin's Lair within city that no one has ever noticed despite the whopping great ASSASSINS sign on the roof, get mission
- Climb every large structure in the city to update your map and throw yourself off them all into conveniently placed bales of hay.
- Eavesdrop, interrogate and pickpocket various people around the city. These sections very rarely vary. Occasionally an Assassins informant may inexplicably ask you to collect a set of flags he's dropped (no, I don't know either), but otherwise you're basically getting information
- Return to SSAL and tell them everything you've heard. You get given a feather and go told to stain it with your target's blood. No, I don't know either.
- Go find your target, kill him, and then listen to him ramble on and on about how good he really was to stab his followers and wear their skins as coats and dance on their graves singing the Macarena
- Return to SSAHITM to be told you did a good job and that you're actually a better assassin than the leader thought you were.
- REPEAT ELEVENTY BILLION TIMES! :D

Now sure, this is fun initially. There's something strangely enjoyable about sneaking around on rooftops, silently slitting guard's throats (second time I've mentioned that...hmm...) and generally being a sneaky ninja type. Only with a white robe, not black. And you really feel a part of this bustling, living city. Wow, how impressive!

Except on the 50th time you do it. It quickly becomes apparent that sneaking through the streets is so much slower and more tedious than just climbing to the nearest roof and taking the quicket route to your desinations. And that bustling, living city sure enjoys repeating itself. Wandering around Damascus becomes a real chore when every other corner has some man reciting the same speech everywhere.

"Praise Salahadin! Curse the Christian king and his army of infidels! They say it's a crusade, a crusade for what? Ignorance? Violence?"

I didn't look that up, that's all from memory. BECAUSE I'VE HEARD IT SO OFTEN IT'S STUCK THERE FOREVER! D:

What's more, other residents of the city prove even more irritating. The beggars are a particularly shining example, constantly hounding you for coins, getting in your way, and reciting the same bloody speeches every time, clearly trying to make you out to be a complete bastard for not giving them a few coins. The problem is, of course, that even if they weren't irritating beyond belief and you wanted to show them some compassion and actually give them that money, YOU CAN'T! There is no monetary system in this game, so their inclusion seems to be just to infuriate the player. Punching them in the face is highly satisfying though. Shame they never learn their lesson.

The madmen are worse. You can hear them a mile away, laughing and grunting away like there's no tomorrow. Walk anywhere near them though, and they punch you in the face. No really, they PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE. For no reason other than because they're utter lunatics. And what's worse is that you're the only one they pester in this way, same with the beggars. What makes Altair so special that these people only feel it necessary to pester him and him only?

Of course Memory Block 5 makes all this worse. They appear mid mission more often than not, and they come in higher numbers. One pickpocket mission takes place in a courtyard FILLED with madmen. While you're trying to silently slip through the crowd to catch up to your target, all the while keeping out of sight, having someone punch you in the head and push you into the man you're trying to stay hidden from doesn't help. Hell, it doesn't even add challenge, it just becomes annoying. And the beggars decided to crop up in an assassination mission...IN PAIRS. Oh lord. WHY?! D:

Of course, the guards are an oddity unto themselves as well. Especially in Acre, the residence of the British and the French. Now, the game's usage of modern English in Medieval Israel is brushed off in-game as part of the Animus's translation function, saying that Nathan Drake...sorry, Desmond Miles wouldn't be able to understand it if they all talked like Chaucer (or, for that matter, like Isrealis), which I could accept if the French weren't SPEAKING FRENCH! Now, suspension of disbelief aside (let's face it, would you like it if they made everyone sound exactly as they would have done at the time? Correct answer: no), if you say everybody's been translated in English for Desmond's (and by extension, the player's) benefit, you damn well best keep everyone like that. I'll accept wildly exaggerated French accents, but "une assassin! Zut alors!" just betrays what they claimed.

Not that the English are any better. They range in vocal talents from Highly Apologetic Upper Class Type (well, they aren't apologetic, but they're tone makes me think they will just turn round and say "look, I'm terribly sorry, but you can't be here, it's not allowed. Sorry, but I have to kill you now old chap, I hope this doesn't affect your opinion of me") to Cockney Wideboy Type (who sound like they wandered off the set of Eastenders and/or any given Guy Ritchie movie to the point where I expect all their threats to end in "sunshoine") to Michael Palin. No really, I've distinctly heard a voice just like Palin's in full Python mode. I half expect him to tell me my parrot's not really dead, 'e's restin'.

Of course, guard voices are a minor point, but I mention them anyway for observation purposes. However, the repetition and poor placement of particularly irritating citizens is. Don't get me wrong, the game is still compelling. The story is interesting, and the gameplay is solid. Everything flows and there's barely a glitch in sight. And the assassinations themselves are immense fun. Just a shame the rest of the gameplay's gotten so samey.

I shall play it through to the end, just because I'm interested in the plot, and report my final thoughts before moving onto the sequel like everyone else has already done. And hopefully I'll have something more interesting to say about it then.

Let's get moving!

Well then, I figured it was time I started a blog. I've always wanted to, always wanted to write entertaining rants for people to read, but then always suffered some degree of writer's block or feeling that I have nothing interesting to write about.

Well, I'm making one anyway. I will try and write something on a daily basis, covering my thoughts on some aspect of pop culture, be it games, movies, music or just general news stories. Some of it may not be current, but hey, I'm going to endeavour to make it interesting to read nonetheless.

First proper entry will follow, I just thought I'd add a little introduction so it doesn't look strange that I started by going on some rant.

GO!