Cupid's Got A Lot To Answer For

So Valentine’s Day has yet again come and gone, leaving in its wake a rubbish pile of red and pink heart shaped boxes and cards, ready to be thrown out for another year. Restaurants are currently counting their increased profits while their workers are breathing a sigh of relief that it’s over for another year.

There are many things wrong with Valentine’s Day, all of which I observed through people’s comments on Twitter, Facebook and various blogs, but it boils down to two camps: The bitter singles and the inept couples.

The bitter singles are easy to spot. They’re the dowdy people moping around bemoaning their single status all day to anyone and everyone, seemingly expecting some sympathy or some solidarity, as if they’re somehow a persecuted minority. But there’s a reason there’s no civil rights movement for single people – you are not a minority. There are a ton of people who are single on Valentine’s Day every single year. The very idea you want to constantly express your disdain for the holiday, even when you’re coming up with ways to justify why it’s good to be single on the day, is remarkably narcissistic. To me, it looks like you’re wandering around going “SOMEBODY PLEASE LOVE ME” when in fact there is a better way to “deal” with the 14^th of February.

Just forget about it. Acknowledge the day exists but merely say to yourself “that’s not my holiday, I shall pay it no more mind”. It’s easy, and it leaves you feeling less bitter. Your reaction to the day is complete indifference. I remember one year where I did genuinely forget it was V-Day, and even when reminded I forgot again within the space of an hour. It was irrelevant to me.

If you’re seriously bothered by being single on Valentine’s Day, maybe you need to re-evaluate your life. What is so fundamentally wrong with your life that you feel everything will be magically better if you have a boy/girlfriend on a specific day? Instead of moping and ranting about the day, find something that betters you as a person, something that makes you happy. No one’s forcing you to stare longingly at the displays in Clinton’s thinking “me too!” You’re doing that to yourself. Stop that. It’s silly and it’s damaging to your mental health.

But, there is the flipside. The inept couples. These are harder to spot, because they’re very easily camouflaged in amongst the genuine couples. The inept couples are the ones that view Valentine’s Day as the most important day in their relationship, that huge, lavish displays of affection on this one day will forgive all other misgivings for the rest of the year. These are the people that look at large pink oversized bears on display and fork out the extortionate money they charge for the privilege just because they have no real imagination for what to get their loved one.

There’s nothing wrong with buying gifts for your loved one and doing stuff together on Valentine’s Day, but why does it need to be some big, extravagant thing. The bitter singles often try and justify their stance by saying “well, if you’re single I suppose you don’t have to spend loads of money on the day” but the fact is, you don’t even need to spend that much if you’re part of a couple either.

If you don’t have much money, what’s wrong with a heartfelt handmade gift and cooking a romantic meal for your partner, or even cooking something together? Even if you’re collectively rubbish at cooking, the fact it was something you did together and most likely had a lot of fun doing means more than a “romantic” dinner at Generic Fancy Restaurant #2487263 in amongst a billion other couples who had the exact same idea. An intimate night in is miles better than sitting waiting around for restaurant staff who are already overworked because of the million couples they have to deal with.

Put simply, it’s not about how much the gesture costs; it should be about the personal value of the gesture to the person on the receiving end. A poorly constructed plush toy of your partner’s favourite animal may not cost much to make, but it’ll always be of much greater value than a disposable, mass-manufactured teddy bear that cost £100.

Valentine’s Day is one of the most hyped-up days of the year, and it’s amazing how many people make it a bigger deal than it needs to be. Let’s stop complaining about the cost, and definitely let’s stop complaining about the “horrors” of being single on such a day. If you’re single, forget about it. If you’re in a relationship and the only gift idea you can come up with is a bunch of cheap generic flowers from a garage forecourt, then your relationship has some serious issues that no amount of merchandise is going to paper over. It’s nice to do something, but it shouldn’t be deciding factor for your relationship.

Let’s get some sanity back.