The thoughts and wonderings of an aspiring writer and Let's Player hidden behind a very silly name indeed.
Saturday, 29 October 2011
We Are The 99%
Wednesday, 14 September 2011
Thou Shalt Not Buy Apple Products
So, I read this BBC news article about a recent Unicef report claiming that UK families are falling apart due to a reliance on consumer spending and “brand bullying” over family quality time. And do you know what? They’re pretty much spot on.
Now, I’m not fussed about “family values” or whatnot, but I am concerned with the way so many people feel the need to buy expensive things so they can “be somebody”. And it’s not just children, as the report points out, it exists in all generations these days. I’m not about to point out where it came from, since I’m not an “expert”, but needless to say, it’s quite depressing.
Gadgets are the key thing, with parents feeling they need to buy their kids iPhones or the 3DS in order to prevent them from being bullied at school. Hey, parents, here’s a crazy idea. Why not teach them the importance of not being a capitalist puppet and that if kids want to make fun of them for not having pointless shit, then those kids are not people your kid wants to know? Ever thought of that?
But no, instead, we get parents whining about how they’re being pressured into doing it. By who? Your kids? Perfect time to teach them what’s really important in life! Being pressured by ad men? You are aware you don’t have to buy what the ads tell you, right? Who else could possibly be pressuring you? Maybe it’s an extension of this absurd “keeping up with the Joneses” attitude far too many people have, where they insist they must have everything the people around them have in order to be happy. I have no idea.
But as I said, it exists throughout society. I’ve seen people feeling the need to buy a smartphone just because, well, “everyone needs a smartphone now, right?” When pressed on how it would be useful to them, most people seem to blankly stare back with no answer in mind. It’s stupidly common, and it actually scares me. It’s like the zombie apocalypse has happened, only instead of mindlessly seeking out human flesh to feed on, we’re mindlessly seeking out shiny things. Zombie magpies, that's what we've become.
How about we, as a nation, no, as a world (I know you're just as bad, America, don't try and hide it), learn to grow up, learn to think for ourselves and say “no”? We don’t need to buy the most expensive things to be happy. I’m happy, largely because I reject much of the modern consumer society and just do what makes me happy. I don’t own an iPhone, and I certainly don’t own a tablet computer (I aim to write for a living someday and tablet computers are counter-productive to that). The most advanced thing I own is a PS3, which I have because I’m a gamer and there are games for it I like playing, but there is no way in hell I’m buying a £2000 TV just because the PS3 will allow me to play games in 3D. Every “gadget” I own is used regularly. Everything has a use. Why is it seemingly so hard for other people to do this?
So let’s join together and only buy what we feel will be useful or interesting to us, not just because someone said we need to? In response to the iPhone’s ad slogan “if you don’t have an iPhone, well, you don’t have an iPhone!” let’s just say “that’s a problem?” and carry on with our lives. Let’s find a way to use our money more effectively, to find things that make us genuinely happy. That £2000 you spent on a 3D TV could have been spent on a gym membership, as a way to make you fitter and healthier. Or, like I said, you could travel, go see places. Or you could just save the money, sit down with your friends and family and just talk to each other. It costs nothing, surprisingly.
After all, we got into a recession through reckless spending and the subsequent debt that spawned, so let’s correct that and get our finances in order. Let’s reject the consumer society together, and better ourselves in more positive ways. Can’t let those big bad marketing men bully us forever, can we?
Monday, 28 June 2010
Men Playing With Their Balls
THANK FUCK FOR THAT!
Maybe now our over-saturated news outlets can start reporting real news for a change.
Ha! Only kidding. It'll be more "the government is shit and we're all doomed" coupled with "BINGE-DRINKING YOUTHS!". When our press shows genuine disappointment that England fans in South Africa didn't cause a single bit of violence, it tells you something. Mind you, it seems the violence has moved to Wimbledon. Yes, Wimbledon. The tennis. Really.
Regardless, I'm still happy we're out of the World Cup, because if anything annoys me every four years, it's this. OMG WORLD CUP WE GOTTA WIN THIS YEAR CUZ WE DID IN 1966 SO WE CAN DO IT AGAIN YEAH! And of course if, like me, you couldn't give a flying toss about a bunch of "millionaires ruining a lawn" [Charlie Brooker, 2010], you get labelled as "unpatriotic" while the troglodytes all go off and binge drink and punch each other in the face in the name of the UK, therefore showing the world we're all a bunch of boozed-up, mindless thugs, which of course we're not, that's just a small minority. And they call ME unpatriotic, despite the fact that I acknowledge that England gave the world The Beatles and Shakespeare, and has two of the world's greatest educational institutions in the form of Oxford and Cambridge. THAT'S something to be proud of. Having 11 blokes who are good at kicking a bit of leather about isn't. Sure, it's nice to win competitions, but can we PLEASE, in the name of all that is good and holy, stop acting like this bloody tournament is a life or death situation.
And I don't want to see first thing in the morning when I turn on the news, a bunch of people in the studio, in the players' dressing rooms, on the plane the players are returning on, wherever, analysing every single frame of the match in minute detail just to figure out where they went wrong. I've got your reason right here. The England team? A bunch of stuck-up, overpaid, whiny prima donnas who care more about who they're shagging instead of the job they're paid to. Everyone's blaming the manager, the referee, the linesman, the bloke in the crowd second row from the left with the vuvuzela, but no one is blaming the players, ie. the guys actually playing the game they lost. It's bizarre.
Of course, it's no big deal to me whether we win or lose, and I especially don't care how. All I would like is for people to calm down and shush about the whole affair. The media, and a number of ordinary people too, need to accept that not everyone cares about this bloody game and would rather not hear about it every five seconds. Especially now we've lost, so there's no reason to bang on about it now. Thank you.
Thursday, 20 May 2010
Why Britain Shouldn't Host The Olympics (From A Purely Design-Based Perspective)
The London 2012 Olympic mascots have been revealed. Now, I don't really give a shit about the Olympics in any way, but I appreciate good design, and it's been all over the news, so why not pay attention to it? I wonder if the mascots are any good. I mean we could do with something to offset this...thing...
D: GET IT AWAY!
So yeah, I wonder what we've got in store. Let's see....
Oh good god what are THOSE THINGS?! D:
Yes, it seems that the Olympic committee's mountain of crack they'd been smoking when they designed the logo still has some surplus supplies because, seriously, what the hell?
The last few Olympic games (apparently) have had mascots related to the country it's been held in. So Beijing had, amongst others, a panda. Makes sense. Sydney had, amongst others, an echidna.
No, not him.
So naturally, everyone was expecting something, you know, British. A bulldog, perhaps. A kingfisher was proposed. Or the good old lion idea (even though lions were never British, but they're associated with us anyway, so let's run with it).
But no, we get what are two cycloptic blobs which seem to be the creation of some mental patient suffering terrible fever dreams. The official "story" behind them doesn't help this image.
Quoted from the BBC website, and not edited in the slightest:
"In author Morpurgo's vision, the pair begin life as two drops of steel from a factory in Bolton, taken home by a retiring worker who fashions characters out of the metal for his grandchildren.
They appear to have a single central eye, explained as a camera lens, through which they'll see the world, and respond to it."
WHAT?!
Great, in times of recession with a major sporting event that many people are concerned will financially cripple the country even more, let's remind people of the ailing steel industry up north that many people USED to have jobs in but don't anymore! Let's make something "cute" out of that! HURRAY! Also, just WHAT? So they're weird steel blobs turned into...something by some former steelworker looking to fill his time? OK...right...
I'm so glad I won't be following the event anyway, but as a former media/arts student, I have a tendency to warm to good graphic design, especially when it comes to characters. This just isn't it. I fail to see how this will appeal to children, it makes no sense in terms of national identity (sticking taxi lights on their head hardly counts) and they just generally don't catch the eye in any way, except maybe to go "what the hell are they?" I'm also mildly offended that for the duration of the contest, the rest of the world will be looking at those things as a representation of us as a country. I mean, what are they? Aliens? Robots? What?
I don't know, maybe I'm just a massive cynic. Maybe it's because some other people's suggestions of artists who could have done the job are artists I greatly admire and would actually like to see designs from (such as Nick Park, who would do a phenomenal job, and who's already proven he can create characters people of all ages love). But this? This is just...weird. I know we have a reputation for being eccentric, but this is just plain awful.Next up - the stadium designs. A giant donut with electrified effigies of Jimmy Saville sticking out the side. I can see it now...